we all have them. We have expectations
for our spouses, our children, our employers, and our friends. Some of the expectations are realistic and
others are unrealistic, but whatever they are they say that another person
should live up to a certain set of standards to garner approval. When those expectations are not met then
people respond, and depending on the value we place on the relationship,
respond in anger, frustration, disappointment, bitterness, hurt, offense, and
Recently one of my elders and I went
to a district conference.
It was a
one-day event centering on church growth, or rather the lack of it.
The church in America is in decline, and 50%
of the pastors would chose another profession if they had a different skill
One of the reasons why pastor’s
leave a church is the unmet expectations of their members, and either the
church asks him to leave or the conflict becomes too great that he choses to
find another ministry.
members of a church have expectations of their Pastor? Yes, but the problem
doesn’t lay in the right to have expectations, but rather the broad rang of
There are basically four
types of Pastors: the pastor leader, the pastor teach/preacher, the pastor
shepherd, and the pastor evangelist.
However, there is no pastor who embodies all these personas.
Yet, there are members in every church who
expect the Pastor to represent them all, and if he doesn’t display the type of
pastor they expect then they have failed.
And even if
the church only expects the pastor to be a leader there are different types of
There are Inspirational
leaders, organizational leaders, and relational leaders, and God doesn’t make
every leader the same.
The same can be
said of how a pastor teaches/preaches, shepherds, and evangelize.
The reality is that every Pastor will, and
does, fail the expectations of their congregation.
The question isn’t if people will be
disappointed, but when.
also have expectations on staff and congregants, and it is important to note
that Pastors can be just as unyielding in those expectations, which creates
The problem isn’t unmet
expectations, but rather what we do with the inevitable disappointment.
The answer is Grace, the answer is Mercy, the
answer is Forgiveness, and the answer is Reconciliation.
But instead of a biblical view of community
the church exhibits a consumer mindset where the congregant is the customer
(who is always right), and the Pastor is to supply what the consumer has paid
for, and when he doesn’t they will leave for a church/pastor that will provide,
or replace the pastor.
Gal. 5:15 But if you bite and devour one another, take
care that you are not consumed by one another.
Eph. 4:32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted,
forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
I hate the church because it has become a consumer-based
organization where people pay (tithe) for services, and if they are not
rendered according to their expectations they either cut and run, or run the
pastor out the ministry.
The church is
called to repent and restore, extend grace and forgiveness, and work together
I’m just saying…. (Continued –
Why I Love The Church).